Of Bullys and Cyber-bullys

This was supposed to be up on Monday (as I had told Dawn Wayang). Unfortunately something cropped up and I had no time for it till now. Better late than never I guess.

My inaugural topic touches on bullying and cyber-bullying. My thoughts on the importance of knowing about cyber-bullying all started when someone I know very well was “dragged” into the “battle” between Dawn Yang and Wendy Cheng (a.k.a. Xiaxue), and my subsequent discovery of the Dawn Wayang website. Please note that due to the legal tussle between the two, I will not comment on the possibility of defamation on any of Wendy’s posts.

Let me start with a working definition of bullying taken from
www.cobbk12.org/Departments/SS/SSPreventionIntervention/Bully/Definition%20of%20Bullying.pdf *

(I have highlighted some points in red).

Next up is cyber-bullying in which it can be said that it is bullying “by using a mobile phone, the internet or other technologies” (Taken from http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/HealthAndRelationships/Bullying/DG_070501).*

The key issue with bullying via blogs is that unless the post is removed, the act of bullying is repeated each time someone reads the post. Not to mention that even if the post is removed, someone else may have duplicated it which allows for the bullying to continue through other means/sites. Some may argue that in instances like the Dawn and Wendy issue, that there is no real power differential, however considering that only the blog owner has any real control over the content of the blog, the power lies in that person rather than the other party.

Take Wendy for example. She is a recalcitrant bully. Many people have been victimised by her. She has made hurtful and unpleasant things, and made fun of many others like when she attacked Fiona Xie, Blinkymummy, models, Dawns manager etc. At least when Dawn mentioned about the twins, Edison, etc. she did say “These stars are afterall human, and like most people out there, would have a sex life too . Can they not be wild in bed in private, but keep a proper clean public image…“ and not lambast them like Wendy does to others. In addition, Wendy also does name calling (calling Dawns manager an “ass rimmer”, Dawn Yang a copycat, etc in this case), and her trying to get people to dislike Dawn Yang’s manager (through misleading her readers/fans) by saying that he called her “common” when in reality “riff-raff” means “a person of disrepute or a worthless person”. Not to mention that she did lie that Dawns manager called her numerous times (he did not call Wendy at all) and the twisting of the facts by saying her emailed her numerous times (thanks to her post, I’ve noticed that 4 or 5 of the 6 or 7 emails were in response to Wendy’s questions). As you can tell, I don’t hold Wendy in very high regard with regards to these types of posts (Yes I know, if she does reply to this, she’ll go with one of her typical “who are you”, “why should I care”, “this is my blog, so I write whatever I want”, etc replies).

Dawn Wayang on the other hand is another sort of bully. One that is even more malicious and vile than Wendy. Why so? Because in addition to all the traits Wendy has as a bully (from my example), his/her blog is specifically targeting one living, breathing, and feeling, person. Even though Dawn Yang is still alive. Dawn Wayang is no better than the lady that bullied Megan Meier till she committed suicide as she employs the same sort of technique.

All of the readers who join in with Dawn Wayang and Wendy in bullying Dawn, as well as Dawn Yang’s readers who use bullying tactics on Wendy, and random netizens who state that they have no allegiances yet happily attack Dawn Yang or Wendy are no better too. Here are some quotes from

http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/HealthAndRelationships/Bullying/DG_070501* that support these:

“By visiting these pages or contributing to them, you become part of the problem and add to the feelings of unhappiness felt by the victim.”

“If someone sends you a message and you forward or laugh at it, you’re actually adding to the problem.”

“Many victims of cyberbullying have complained that they have seen personal photos, emails or blog postings posted where others could see it without their permission.

Social networking sites make it a lot easier for web users to get hold of personal information and photos of people. They can also get hold of someone else’s messaging accounts and chat to people pretending to be the victim.”

The Megan Meier story was an extreme case. Here are some of the more common and long term effects of bullying
(taken from http://educationalissues.suite101.com/article.cfm/long_term_effects_of_bullying)* :

· The victims become more withdrawn,

· become less considerate of people's feelings,

· have more adjustment problems,

· suffer from anxiety problems, and

· also depression.

And here are some common reasons for cyber-bullying as taken from http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/YoungPeople/HealthAndRelationships/Bullying/DG_070501*

“Why do cyberbullies do it?

There’s no simple answer for why some people choose to cause pain to others by bullying them. There are lots of possible reasons, but here are some common ones:

• it can be simply a case of someone being in the wrong place at the wrong time and allowing themselves to be easily intimidated
• some people who cyberbully think that they won’t get caught if they do it on a mobile phone or on the internet
• the people who cyberbully are jealous, angry or want to have revenge on someone, often for no reason at all
• cyberbullies often think that getting their group of friends to laugh at someone makes them look cool or more popular
• some people also bully others as a form of entertainment or because they are bored and have too much time on their hands
• many do it for laughs or just to get a reaction”

Many countries have legal policies regarding bullying. As a Singaporean hoping for an even better Singapore, I am appalled that these many of our youth think nothing of bullying. It is a very serious issue with many bad effects on both the bully and the victim. We too need to stamp out this ant-social behavior.

*All references were retrieved on 24 July 2008